Reunion: Part 1

Haven't been able to find part 2 of this yet. For some context, here's a selection Danny's tweets from the night in question:

11:06PM:     This is like a school dance in that I'm not sure why I came because I can't stand these people. Unlike a dance, there's an open bar.
11:29PM:     Just had a conversation with a guy who though I was named Peter. Claimed to be an astronaut. Totally bought it.


11:35PM:     Girl just asked if I was Steve, said we should hook up for old time's sake. Note to self: figure out who Steve is.


12:01PM:      Bad news, she found the real Steve.


12:12PM:      A guy named Mike just recognized and hugged me. No idea who he is. I just hope he's not a friend of Steve's.


12:39PM:      Just posed for pictures. I'll be the one tagged as Jeremy. Don't know him either.





So the part of last night I remember, Rachel decided to be my chick wingman and try to get me laid by outright lying. My favorite was when she told some drunk blonde that she desperately wants to have sex with me but I keep saying no, because I'm so well-endowed that I'm afraid I would hurt her.

So this morning I woke up in the parking garage in the back seat of my car with four Volbeat CDs and a hammer. I have no recollection why, and neither does Rachel. But she can't drive stick so she didn't leave me there.
Volbeat is a surprisingly good rockabilly/metal band. I'd never heard of them but, assuming I bought all these CDs, I have good taste.

I remember the entire reunion, is the thing, and I left when the open bar closed. I remember Rachel suggesting we go to the Peet's next door, I remember ordering coffee, then I woke up in the back set of my car.

I checked the police blotter for break-ins at record stores.  Also high-speed chases involving new Camaros.  Nothing.

Speaking of Rachel, she heard from Mike. The short answer is I have very little idea who Mike is.  I apparently went to high school with him and he dealt a poker game with some coworkers last year. He showed up drunk, got drunker, danced with everything, groped a waitress and vanished. Apparently I Tweeted the highlights.  That's all kinda hazy.

Anyway, Mike found us in the coffee shop.  He then proceeded to Irish up my coffee and insist we accompany him to a karaoke bar. This was about when I stop remembering what happened. He tells Rachel that he has a cell phone video of her in a bra and skirt singing badly to Bon Jovi.  So things make slightly more sense.

"He says I took off my shirt because it's what Jon Bon Jovi would want.  He says you then told me Bon Jovi would also want me to take off my bra too.  Jackass."

He says we left with a girl I claimed to know but very possibly just wanted to have sex with. Also I made him sign a napkin on which I wrote, "Mike agrees that if this doesn't end in a threesome it's his damn fault."

Here's my thinking: If I didn't know the girl there's no way we'd have left with her.  Because, come on. So what girls do I know that would take pity on me enough to drag me to safety despite my advances?

Leticia is a possibility, but she said she didn't drive me home and also asked what the hell is wrong with me.
Brynna! She's hot, she hangs out in downtown Walnut Creek and she can drive stick. And someone was definitely driving my car, because my car dropped Rachel off at her mom's place. Also I asked her mom if she'd heard of Volbeat.

Update: I did not have the albums, I was not driving, she didn't see who was, but I was singing along to NWA.

Danny: Didn't consider, you know, doing something?
Rachel's Mom: You weren't driving, I wanted to see where it was going to go.
Danny: Who was driving?
Rachel's Mom: Chick.  Out of your league.  It was dark.

Part 2 will be posted if I find it.